Love Begins at Home (SPS)

PHOTO: Dayana Yakob

Sports brought Superintendent of Prisons (SUPT) Pamela Phor and Deputy Superintendent of Prisons (DSP) Jared Lee together, and work bonded them. Eleven years and two kids later, they share with us how they keep the connection strong.

When and where did you first meet?
SUPT Pamela: We were both nominated to represent the Singapore Prison Service (SPS) in the 17th ASEAN Prisons Track and Field Championships in 2011. My event was long-distance running and Jared’s was high-jump. 

We met when we started training at the former Bedok Reformative Training Centre, and started going out for meals after training with the team. We also played tennis with a group of common colleagues and friends. 

How did your relationship grow?
DSP Jared: There was no love at first sight; we were doing different things at work, but we had common interests – keeping fit, playing tennis and leading an active lifestyle.

SUPT Pamela: Initially, for me at least, we got together for practical reasons – I didn’t have a car and Jared would offer to send me home after training or tennis. [laughs] He’d also suggest that we have dinner. Over time, we got to know each other much better, and we got married in 2013. We now have two young children, aged three and seven. 

Wedding photo of SUPT Pamela and DSP Jared in 2013. PHOTO: Jared Lee

Name one thing you love about each other.
SUPT Pamela: What attracted me to him, and which I still love about him, is that he’s patient and even-tempered; quite different from me. He’s a very grounded person, so when I face difficulties or feel stressed, he calms me down and helps me to think clearly.

DSP Jared: What attracted me was her energy level. She’s energetic, driven and hardworking. She’s also intelligent and engaging; we had a strong connection early on in our relationship through enriching conversations.

Tell us about your work and how it feels to both be serving as Captains of Lives? 
DSP Jared: As Head of Capability and Curriculum Development at the Singapore Prison Training Institute, I support the development and implementation of policies and initiatives in the areas of training and learning in SPS. I also conduct research to identify new skills and competencies that prison officers may need, so they are able to meet the operational challenges of the future. 

It’s a good thing that we’re both Prison officers because there’s a lot of common ground for communication between us. It isn’t always possible to separate our work from our personal lives, but who we are at work doesn’t define who we are at home.

PHOTO: Dayana Yakob

SUPT Pamela: I’m a Senior Assistant Director with the Strategic Planning Division. My team charts the future direction of SPS by seizing new opportunities and addressing future challenges. Through Organisational Development interventions and fostering an innovative culture, we help prepare our Captains of Lives for the future ahead and achieve organisational excellence. We also advance Singapore’s interest internationally by establishing SPS as a reputable and trusted compass for corrections.

It’s nice to have colleagues who are also our common friends. While a lot of our conversations end up being about work, this helps to deepen our connection and mutual understanding. We can provide each other with a listening ear and practical advice.

At work, do you ever worry about each other?
DSP Jared: In 2020, when I was deployed to support the whole-of-government efforts in managing the outbreak of COVID-19 in foreign worker dormitories, Pamela was concerned for my safety and health. Yet, she was very supportive because she understood it was part of our duty. That’s what it means to serve in the Home Team – we contribute towards a national effort that can go beyond personal safety and comfort at times.

SUPT Pamela: When I was expecting our second child, I was working in a male institution. Jared was obviously concerned about me, but he knows our institutional processes and safeguards, as well as trust that my fellow officers will be there to help me if needed, and this gave him the assurance that I’d be well. 

PHOTO: Dayana Yakob

How do you keep your love strong amid your busy work schedules and caring for two young children?
DSP Jared: It’s important to be intentional. The busier we are, the more we have to make time to spend with each other. We’ll have lunch together if our work schedule permits, for example.

SUPT Pamela: We make it a point to take at least half a day off each month to do something we enjoy together. We both like nature, so we’ll explore a hiking trail whenever we can.

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